Channel 4 Schedule, Today (United Kingdom)

(2000) Darkly comic, quasi-true crime biopic starring Eric Bana as notorious Australian criminal Mark 'Chopper' Read who, among other things, got a fellow inmate to chop off his ears.

The Park Restaurant & Bar: Can Gordon save a gastropub in Oak Park, California, that's close to ranches that are often used in TV and film productions? (S3 Ep7) [SL]

...Professionals: In Manchester, BrewChimp Indian Social Club take on a battle of the BBQs between One Plus Chinese Restaurant and the Old School BBQ Bus's tantalising Texan. (S1 Ep5)

Phil Spencer catches up with two couples who were searching for first homes with lots of space: crafters Claudia and Tom in Kettering, and movie buffs Mike and Karen in Leicester. (S33 Ep7)

Kay and Barry have decided that it's time to fulfil their dream of buying a holiday home in the historic Spanish city of Jerez. Can Jasmine Harman find their perfect place for their £105k?

Retirement Is Murder: When Martin continues his 20-year obsession with solving a murder, Frasier steps in with his own theory: that the killer was a monkey. (S2 Ep13)

Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twice...: Frasier attempts to work his psychoanalysis on a self-confessed lazy criminal, Phil, who has stolen his briefcase and his car. (S2 Ep14)

...Chipwrecked: (2011) Family comedy. The Chipmunks and Chipettes get stranded on an island after parasailing off a ship. Can Dave rescue them in time for the International Music Awards?

Little Big Girl: Lisa invents fragments of her family's history to impress her classmates, but feels guilty about lying. Bart thinks he's got a girl pregnant by kissing her. (S18 Ep12/22)

The Boy Who Knew Too Much: Bart is witness when Mayor Quimby's nephew is falsely accused of assaulting a French butler. But to testify, he has to admit to skipping school... (S5 Ep20/22)

Homerazzi: Homer becomes a paparazzo to get money to pay for fire damage to the house. But Springfield's celebrities are alarmed by his aggressive style and fight back. (S18 Ep16/22)

Marge Gamer: Marge gets hooked on an online fantasy game and discovers that Bart is the game's best - and most destructive - player. (S18 Ep17/22)

The Boys of Bummer: Just as the Springfield Isotopes are on the verge of winning their first Little League Championship, Bart makes a mistake that costs the team their title. (S18 Ep18/22)

Stop or My Dog Will Shoot: After rescuing Homer from a corn maze, Santa's Little Helper is recruited as a police dog and is teamed up with grizzled veteran cop Lou. (S18 Ep20/22)

24 Minutes: In a parody of the action series 24, Bart and Lisa must stop bullies releasing a stink bomb at school. (S18 Ep21/22)

(2020) Cheeky comedy with Megan Fox. A young science prodigy (Gabriel Bateman) invents a piece of tech that lets him and his pet dog communicate with each other telepathically.

In Liverpool, there are revelations, a Mexican fiesta, large portions of blunt feedback and a side order of revenge, as three couples compete to host the best dinner party.

Maxine and Tegan host at their Greenhills Hotel in Tenby, Pembrokeshire. Will a seal safari impress their guests?

Visit two of the week is to Tom's Three Cliffs Bay Holiday Park in Swansea. But with one couple determined to find fault, Tom has his work cut out to impress everyone.

The B&Bers head to Conwy, where pro chef Dan and his partner Lucy host at The Tal-y-Cafn. Dan's cocky about his breakfast. So what could possibly go wrong?

Ivan and Jacqui host the week's final visit at Cambrian House B&B in Powys. But a good start is quickly sunk by one guest playing a prank on another...

It's Four in a Bed's 1000th episode! To mark it, two B&Bers have a dramatic, downright explosive argument about whether a tile is cardboard or plastic on payment day.

Pauline and Chris dream of owning a bolthole in the beautiful coastal town of Peyia in western Cyprus. Can Jasmine Harman find them the perfect holiday home for £80k?

Channel 4's flagship news programme. Including the weather.

...Highlights: Steve Jones presents Sprint race and Qualifying highlights from the Red Bull Ring. Verstappen won the Sprint here last year. Can he do so again on the team's home soil?

The royals plan their own funerals from start to finish. Royal funerals have always been steeped in tradition and strict protocols. Does that leave enough space for real grieving?

(2021) Kristen Stewart dons the famous pixie cut to play an embattled Princess Diana in director Pablo Larraín's stylised dramatisation of three stifling Christmas nights at Sandringham.

(1999) Crime thriller. Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie star as a paralysed ex-homicide detective and a beat cop working to track down a serial killer. Strong langauge/strong violence.