Comedy Central HD Schedule, Today (United Kingdom)

Rhod Gilbert is joined by guests Jack Dee, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and KG Tha Comedian to roll back the clock. Discover who was into drinking homebrew and someone's top-secret teenage crush! (S5, E02)

Jimmy knows a thing or two about making people laugh. The show is packed with one-liners, stories, and jokes. Some clever, some rude, and a few totally unacceptable.

This episode features a fan asking Karl which body part he could live without, fan mail questions for Karl, and ''Monkey News". (S1, E06)

Karl is back from holiday, where he started a diary. Ricky begs to read some of it, revealing an invention Karl has come up with; A watch that counts down the days and time to one's death. (S1, E07)

Poor and Stupid: Cartman's secret ambition in life is revealed. To become a NASCAR driver! Stan and Kyle convince him he can make the dream a reality but can he win the race of his life? (S14, E08)

It's A Jersey Thing: Kyle discovers a family secret and the town of South Park must defend itself against being swallowed up by New Jersey and its reality TV stars.

Take A Number: The boys try to scalp tickets to the 'Creatures of Rock' concert with no money. Then they drink too much soda and spend the entire concert waiting in line for the Porta-Potty. (S5, E13)

Sara Pascoe, Alan Davies, Darren Harriott, and sidekick John Kearns, welcome Glenn Moore, Amy Gledhill, Ria Lina and Scarlett Moffatt to play another round of absurd guessing games. (S4, E10)

Teleshopping.

Teleshopping.

Your one-stop-shop for all things cruise; bringing you the hottest destinations, ground-breaking ships and the latest deals to ensure your next cruise holiday is your greatest one!

This time it's action heroes getting the MR treatment. So standby as Greg James bring us silly show-offs, stupid stunts, terrible tricks, and some truly incapable caped crusaders. (S3, E18)

We've scoured the archives to dig out the funniest clips featured on the show to date. And alongside all-time favourites, there are some brand new, gut busting belters for you to enjoy. (S3, E19)

Live.. from Murr's pool. This week, Murr, Q, Sal and Joe have a late-summer cookout featuring the real star of the Impractical Jokers Movie: Paula Abdul. Plus the reveal of - Indiana Murr. (S1, E11)

Murr, Q, Sal and Joe virtually hit the club with guests DJ Marshmello and actress Edie Falco (of The Sopranos fame), Joe sends the guys bottle service, and they eat some late-night grub. (S1, E12)

Murr Farms!? This week, the guys have a meal that's entirely made with produce from Murr's backyard aka Murr Farms. They also have a legendary improviser join the convo: Wayne Brady! (S1, E14)

Tim 'the Landlord' Taylor: Tim and Jill purchase another house for rental property and Tim uses it for a renovation show on Tool Time. Al wants to rent the house. (S7, E14)

Say Goodnight, Gracie: Tim and Jill babysit their niece Gracie. Tim has such a grand time, he wants he and Jill to have their own baby girl. (S7, E15)

Murder She Wanted: Mandy gets jealous after Mike spends time with Ryan at a marketing retreat.

Baxter Boot Camp: Mike teaches Kristin about work/life balance as Vanessa and Mandy school Jen on camping. Meanwhile, Ed asks Kyle how to get into heaven. (S9, E20)

Keep on Truckin': After Mike's beloved truck is stolen, just as he completes his 10-year renovation on it, the Baxter family and friends gather together for an emotional good-bye. (S9, E21)

The One With The Proposal (1): Chandler's romantic marriage proposal is ruined when Monica's former boyfriend (Tom Selleck) returns. Joey accidentally buys a boat at a silent auction. (S6, E24)

The One With The Proposal (2): Chandler fools Monica into believing he hates the idea of marriage, but his plan backfires as she seeks consolation with Richard (Tom Selleck). (S6, E25)

The One With Monica's Thunder: Monica excitedly reveals the good news of her engagement to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her by reuniting. (S7, E01)

The One With Rachel's Book: Joey finds out that Rachel is reading a steamy romance novel and Monica discovers that her parents have spent the money for her wedding on a beach house. (S7, E02)

The One With Phoebe's Cookies: Monica becomes obsessed with obtaining Phoebe's secret cookie recipe. Meanwhile, whilst trying to bond, Chandler accidentally gives Monica's dad a lap dance. (S7, E03)

The One With Rachel's Assistant: Rachel wants to hire a cute, young male assistant over a more qualified woman. Meanwhile, Joey's show gets cancelled. (S7, E04)

The One With The Engagement Picture: Joey teaches Chandler how to smile for an engagement picture with Monica. Phoebe and Ross each date the members of a couple preparing for divorce. (S7, E05)

The One With The Nap Partners: Joey and Ross accidentally take a nap together and much to their dismay, find that they like it. Phoebe and Rachel compete to be Monica's maid of honour. (S7, E06)

The One With Ross's Library Book: Ross discovers that his dissertation is in a section of the library where students go to have "relations". (S7, E07)

The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs: Chandler's irrational fear of dogs causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute canine. (S7, E08)

The One With All The Candy: Monica becomes popular with her neighbours because of her homemade candy. Meanwhile, Ross teaches Phoebe how to ride a bike... literally. (S7, E09)

The One With The Holiday Armadillo: Ross dresses up as an Armadillo to try and teach Ben about Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel wants to continue living with Joey. (S7, E10)

The One With All The Cheesecakes: Chandler and Rachel can't help eating the irresistible cheesecakes that are meant for a neighbour. (S7, E11)

The One Where They're Up All Night: After the gang head to the roof to see a passing comet, separate events unfold that lead to all of them having a sleepless night. (S7, E12)

The One Where Rosita Dies: Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (Jason Alexander). Meanwhile, Rachel and Chandler both think they've broken Rosita, Joey's recliner. (S7, E13)

The One Where They All Turn Thirty: Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th celebrations. (S7, E14)

Renowned for his cheeky story-telling and friendly delivery, Jason takes us through the rules of driving, urinal etiquette, and the lies Dads tell in a tour de force of comedy.

...Inspired Unemployed. The Aussie Jokers become wait staff at fancy restaurant, it's awkward for the patrons but more awkward for the jokers. One Joker gives a eulogy for a chicken. (S1, E03)

...Theatre. Lee Evans delivers a wealth of classics including his "How To Be a Comic" self-help vinyl and the mumble your wife makes just after an argument. This award-winner is where it all began!

Demetri alternates between stand-up and taped skits to explore life's 'important things'. This episode, the important subject of Safety is discussed. John Oliver guests. (S1, E05)